After writing my last post, I decided it was time for me to share another story …

When I was a kid, I used to spend a lot of time at my Grandmother’s house. She lived right behind us. You could walk there in under a minute. Even if you were a slow walker.

I was young when I started to realize I was gay. Third grade, maybe. Doesn’t exactly matter.

I don’t remember where I was when I first heard the word “gay” … what I do remember, though, is feeling relived that I now had a word for … well … what made me different. I didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. But, the vibes I was getting at home made me think it wasn’t the kind of thing I could talk with my Family about.

So, one night, in the basement of my Grandmother’s house, I said a silent prayer, asking God for a sign if things were going to be ok. And I waited for a sign. I don’t know if I expected a bright neon sign to fall from the heavens to let me know what God thought … but, nothing happened for awhile … so, when I got bored, I turned on the TV.

Some comedy show was on that I had never seen before. I didn’t know who Glen Close or Tracy Ullman were at the time, but they were playing two old (as in elderly) rivaling actresses. One was going to get the lead role in some movie, the other was going to be the supporting actress. The director was interviewing them both together, and then for some reason, he had to leave the room.

The two actresses got into a fight at this point. “I’m better than you.” “No, I’m better than you” … Back and forth they bickered for awhile. “I’ve won six Tony Awards,” one said. “Big deal, I’ve won seven Oscars,” the other replied. Back and forth for awhile, then I heard … “Oh, and who was that David person you married. He was a homosexual.” “He wasn’t when I married him.” “No! You drove him to it.”

Hold on a second. I just asked for a sign from God about being gay. Then, I hear the word on television. Was that just a sign from God? If so … honestly … it wasn’t a very good one. Or, at least, not one I could understand. Unsure if that was or wasn’t a sign from God, I decided to test the waters by praying again. “God … if that was a sign, I didn’t understand it. Could you please send me another one that’s a little easier to interpret?”

I watched the rest of The Tracy Ullman Show … but there were no more references to anything gay. Maybe that was just a coincidence.

I was about to turn off the TV and head to bed when another episode of The Tracy Ullman Show came on. I decided, if God had tried to send me a sign though the television, maybe he’d do it again. And since I’m now presented with another episode of that same show … I decided to watch it.

In this episode, Tracy played Francesca, a high school Junior who had to write a theme paper on what her family was like. The day before the paper is due, she reads it for her teacher because she really wants to get a good grade. “I live with my Father, and William. My Father…” she begins. The teacher tells her it’s an A+ paper, and that she just needs to explain who William is.

In the next scene, Francesca reads the paper in front of the class. “I live with my Father, and William, my Father’s lover…” she reads. Well … her teacher refuses to give her a good grade on the paper because her family isn’t normal. Throughout the episode, Francesca tries to reason with the teacher – and by the end her teacher realizes her family might be different, but that doesn’t mean that’s a bad thing … and she gives Francesca an A+ on her paper.

So … that WAS a sign from God. While it took me awhile to figure out what that first sign was all about – I certainly understood the second one. That message was loud and clear: Some people aren’t gong to like the fact that you are gay. And, there are likely to be times when you’re going to have to fight to do what you feel, deep inside, is right.  Even though others may see you as a bad person, it doesn’t mean you are. And in the end – things will eventually work themselves out.

And I could deal with that.

Alright … so neither The Golden Girls or the Tracy Ullman Show made me gay … but looking back after all this time – it’s strange to see how two television shows helped shape me into being who I am today.

Oh … by the way … you remember how I said it took me awhile to figure out the sign from God that came from Tracy Ullman and Glen Close? Hehehe … that lesson was, perhaps, the most important of them all. Sure … as that second episode taught me to stand up for what I believe in and that things will turn out alright eventually … the first lesson was that …. no matter what life throws your way, the first thing you should rely on … is your sense of humor.

When I first saw it, I thought it was a joke. Someone trying to claim that I am gay because of The Golden Girls. You can find the thing at http://christwire.org/2009/10/the-golden-girls-how-one-tv-show-turned-a-generation-of-american-boys-into-homosexuals/  (copy and paste it into your browser, I didn’t make that into a hyperlink on purpose.)

Then, I saw the website where it came from and realized these guys (gals?) were probably serious.

Many years ago, one of the hot topics in criminology circles was weather or not violent movies made people commit violent crimes, or do stupid things to hurt themselves or others. The people that supported this view pointed to a wide variety of horror movies, action films, and even some dramas and comedies – comparing them to real life events.

One example (of many): When a few people who saw the movie The Program, which featured a scene where the hero lied down between the lanes of traffic to prove he had nerves of steel, they did the same thing – which turned deadly.

The theory is that watching violent movies (or playing violent video games) leads to acting out violently in real life. At the time there were a number of violent crimes that paralleled scenes from violent movies. But, is that proof that violent movies made good people do bad things? Hardly.

If that were true, I’d be an excellent opera singer (because I’ve got several operas in my DVD collection) or I would play the violin like a virtuoso. If you go by my favorite video games, I’d be an excellent poker player or I would have gotten hungry for pac-pellets while getting good at avoiding ghosts. Like either of those things are going to happen.

Personally, I’ve never seen a single piece of evidence that has led me to believe that watching violence on television makes people violent. The only argument I think someone can make is that violent movies and video games gives already-violent people ideas.

And now, someone has the gull to suggest that because I watched The Golden Girls – it made me be gay? (Yeah, and because I watched Designing Women, I must have become an interior decorator, Right?)

Sigh…

According to the post in question, The character of Dorothy Zbornak (or maybe it was the late-great, oops, I meant “liberal actress” Bea Arthur’s magical influence) taught little boys how to be gay and how to fit into the gay stereotypes (most notable being the leather/BDSM subculture).

Then there was Blanche Devereaux who taught all those kids ensnared by Dorothy (Zbornac, not Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz) that it is ok to be a slut. And then there is Rose Nylund (as played by “X-Rated” comedienne Betty White) who taught all those kids they didn’t need to know the difference between an avocado and  Acapulco.

The comments from the post even goes as far as to claim that The Golden Girls managed (somehow) to take Miami from a picture of macho-maleness (as shown in Miami Vice and Scarface) into some sissy-gay Golden Girls place. (Now, THAT was funny.)

I knew I was gay before I ever watched The Golden Girls…

Yet, I do have to admit, it was a show I could relate to. Ok, maybe not so much the menopause, Metamucil, or denture cream. But … each of the 4 old ladies did teach me … well … something.

Dorothy … taught me how to deal with the unfairness of life, and still keep a touch of class. She taught the importance of education and understanding that while the world may be unfair, you can’t let it get you down, and you just have to keep moving forward.

Blanch … taught me about relationships (and lord knows she had enough of them). Not just relationships in the traditional sense of the word, but how we relate, in general, to the people around us. Alright, she might have been a slut, but she still had her limits and her rules, which she always abided by … er … eventually.

Rose … taught me the value of simplicity. Sure, Rose was dim-witted, but whenever you laughed around Rose, you were laughing with her, not at her. Just look at all those St. Olaf stories. It had to be the most dull, boring, and … did I say dull? place on Earth. Yet, strangely … because of the way Rose talks about it … you almost want to go there.

Sophia … taught me about two things: wisdom and freedom. Wisdom isn’t about being smart, it’s about knowing the right thing to do, even if you don’t want to do it. And, having freedom isn’t about doing anything you want to do, but rather doing whatever it is that makes you … well … you.

All four girls together taught me a few things too. Like, the difference between family and Family. Family (Capitol F) is important because those are the people you are related to. They are important because that’s just how Families are. Then there is family (lower case f) or the people you surround yourself with not because they have to be in your life, but because you want them to be there. And they’re both equally as important – just in different ways.

So … no …. The Golden Girls didn’t make me gay. But, I wouldn’t be the person I am today had it not been for Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia.

Lately, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about “America”. And, what it means to be an “American”. I’ve been reading about the Founding Fathers and the principles these great men wrote into The Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. Since the birth of this nation, The United States of America has produced some of the greatest advances in nearly all fiends, from science to technology to literature to art to medicine, just to name a few… For a country that is merely 233 years old, that’s quite an achievement.

One of the things that comes to my mind when thinking about America was something that happened several years ago. I was going back and forth between operating cameras and answering phones during a PBS Telethon. Because we were showing a couple of gay-related shows, it was no surprise that the station started getting its share of prank callers. It’s something we were always told to expect. For the most part, those prank callers were pretty harmless – usually bored high-school or college kids trying to get their jollies by doing something weird.

Because of the high volume of “weird” calls on Gay-Day, they always taught us what to do if we got one of those calls that could turn out to be a serious problem. (Pretty much – grab the attention of someone who is paid to be there and let them handle it, and try to keep calm.) In nine years, I never had to deal with one of those situations. Although, one time … for a few brief moments … I thought for sure it was going to happen.

The gentleman had called in during the part of the telethon when people pretty much don’t call in – during the movie. Most of the volunteers were off in the break room, so when the phone rang, I picked it up. With his heavy Texas accent, he told me that he was shocked to see whatever show it was we were airing that night. He spoke about how being gay was an abomination and how all gays were going to rot in hell for eternity. He said that seeing the two men kiss on the screen was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen.

I had been doing those telethons for long enough to know how to deal with that kind of call, so I just let the guy rant and rave. Maybe, by the time he finished, he’d feel better, have gotten all that out of his system and he’d not call back for the rest of the night.

After several minutes of his anti-gay message, he starts talking about how great a country America is. He talks about the Constitution and the Bill of Rights and how those documents grant every American citizen freedom. When he starts to mention the “Right to bear arms” – i was starting to think I had one of “those calls”. I started waving my arms wildly hoping to catch someone’s attention. Eventually one of the producers came over and started to listen in. By that time, he was back doing his anti-gay thing, in case I had missed it the first time. But then he said something I really wasn’t expecting.

He said he knew he lived in a great country when even those disgusting, perverted, gay people could put crap like this on television. In other countries, if two men were caught kissing, they’d be put to death. But, here in America, we are free to show it on TV.

The guy informs me he never really thought twice about supporting Public Television, even though his kids watch PBS shows like Sesame Street every day. But, catching a brief glimpse of two dudes kissing on television at 8:00 P.M., made him be proud to be an American, and he decided he wanted to start supporting Public Television. I took down his information and he promised to send in a check for $500.

I learned something from him that night.

I am guessing that neither of us had a whole lot in common. Had I met him anywhere else, I’m sure I would have found him outspoken, arrogant, bigoted, and … I’m sure he probably would have thought some nasty things of me, too. In some ways, we were probably complete opposites of each other … at least with our political views, principles, beliefs, etc… and yet we were both free to live in the same city in the same state of this great nation.

That meant something to me…

_^_

Being a Chicago resident, I have to admit that I always had mixed feeling about Chicago bidding to host the 2016 Olympics. On one hand, getting the city prepared for the Olympics would put added stress and strain on the city (state/nation) that it really doesn’t need. (Yet, once the Olympics were to eventually get here, that would be such an awesome boost to the local economy and tourism, which wouldn’t be such a bad thing.) On the other hand, I think Chicago is a great city. One only needs to look at the phenomenal success of the two Worlds Fairs held here to see that. I am both an American and a Chicagoan. Why wouldn’t I want my city, my country, my home to win.

In the end, Chicago lost the Olympic Bid.

Not just Chicago … America too.

And, in certain locations … people cheered. Not just “people” … Americans. They seemed overjoyed, elated even, that Chicago (America) lost the Olympic bid. (This weekend, it was hard to log into Facebook, read some blogs, or watch YouTube videos without seeing something about this. I would post links, but there are just too damn many.)

WTF?

They were happy because the message was sent that America wasn’t good enough to host the Olympic games. America was just slapped in the face, and they’re overjoyed?

Had the Olympics been some political thing, I think this would make more sense. But, the Olympics are about uniting all people, regardless of their nationality, their religions, their political beliefs, their ages, their culture, their language … bringing everybody together in the spirit of competition.

How could anyone proud to be an American be happy to learn that America just isn’t good enough.

What does that say about us, as a Nation, when (some of) our religious leaders, or our political leaders, or the pundits filling the airwaves … are this overjoyed at the prospect of America being told it isn’t good enough.

Just because their candidate didn’t win the last Presidential Election?

Or, is there more to it than that?

I just don’t know. It makes no sense to me.

Why aren’t we outraged about this? Why the hell aren’t we speaking up?

Rachel Maddow of MSNBC did. And I thank her for that.

Aren’t you outraged too?

I mean … WTF

Today, in America, it’s Independence Day.

As I wrote that line, I’m listening to someone setting off fireworks in the alley behind our house. I can also hear fireworks going off from other parts of the neighborhood, too. I turn on the television set – someone dressed up like Uncle Sam is trying to sell me Auto Insurance … like, if I drove, I’d trust someone wearing a red white and blue sequined suit while “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee” plays in the background. Or, maybe it was the matching sequined stovepipe hat. Whatever … That might work if I was looking to buy ice cream or something – but not anything important like insurance.

Through Blogs, Facebook, and e-mail – I’m hearing stories about awesome parties, spectacular fireworks displays, picnics and all sorts of fun stuff.

If you live in America, it’s hard to forget that this is Independence Day.

But, what exactly are we celebrating?

Sometimes it seems we’re celebrating the fact that it’s summertime. That’s why we pull out our barbeques – so we can invite our friends and relatives over for grilled hamburgers and hot dogs (and classics like potato salad).

Other times, it seems like it’s just another holiday … we don’t have to work tomorrow, so let’s go out to the bars and drink ‘till we puke. Woohoo!

Do we even remember why we’re celebrating Independence Day on the 4th of July?

Oh, yeah … that’s right. On July 4th, 1776, the United States Congress signed The Declaration of Independence. I remember that now … so … the 4th of July is also The United States of America’s birthday. How could I forget that? … Happy Birthday, America.

Hold on  a second … what was the Declaration of Independence, again? Isn’t it that document where the original 13 colonies pretty much told King George III that he could go F*#& himself for all we care?

Or, something like that? Kind of sort of?

What does the Declaration of Independence say again?

It starts off by saying that people should be able to declare political independence as long as it is reasonable, explicable, and the reasons why should be explained.

Not bad as far as first sentences go … but, it isn’t until the second sentence that things really get good. In fact, it’s so good … it’s probably the only part of the entire document that people remember. Does this sound familiar?

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

This section was known as The Preamble (or, Introduction). It details the background about what people in America were thinking at that time. It was their way of saying that everybody has a right to be treated fairly by the government and how everybody should have a right to their live their lives freely and do whatever it is that makes them happy. And, whenever government gets in the way of that – the people have a right to do something about it.

It is interesting to note that many phrases used in the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence have been used throughout American history and are still being uttered today. Abraham Lincoln based much of his political ideals upon these statements, especially how “all men were created equal” including all those slaves he sought to free. Even today, you may also hear a law being challenged in court because it deprives someone from “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness".  You have to admit – those are some amazing words.

After this point, the Declaration of Independence goes on to demonstrate the specific things King George had done (or, in some cases not done) that they felt violated their rights and why they no longer thought he was fit to rule over them.

After this, they go on to explain how they tried to work things out, resolve the problem, but King George pretty much was leaving them no choice … it’s nothing personal, we’re just not that in to you.

Then, in the final section, those early Americans told the British Crown to go take a long walk off a short pier. We’re going to do our own thing from now on … so don’t bother even trying to tell us what to do anymore ‘cause we’re not listening.

If you want to know more about The Declaration of Independence, I suggest you read the copy at the National Archives.

As I said earlier … the signing of The Declaration of Independence is celebrated as The Nation’s birthday because it was the time when the American colonists finally got together, stuck their heads out their windows and started screaming “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

Today, it’s been 233 years since the American Colonists told King George not to let the door hit him on the ass on his way out. In many ways, America has come a long way since then.

Yet, in other ways, America is still the same as it was back in 1776.

Maybe … this Independence Day … we should remember what that means.

The world lost two people yesterday … Farrah and Michael.

I’ve been rather silent about Michael Jackson’s death … mostly because I have nothing to say. In the past, I have been largely critical of MJ – or rather, his actions – especially those involving children (both his own, as well as the other children around him).

Today – two things happened that broke my silence about MJ. The first was that I was called a racist because I didn’t think that MJ was one of the greatest men who ever lived. I will agree that MJ’s contribution to the world of music has been beyond phenomenal. Likewise, I can also see how people can look up to MJ as a sense of inspiration, being one member of a family that went from poverty to success. Still, that is a far cry from saying that he was one of the greatest men who ever lived.

The second thing that broke my silence about MJ was hearing someone equate the death of MJ to that of Lady Diana, Princess of Wales … a woman known for her compassion, charisma, grace, style, as well as the time and energy she put into working with (and starting) charities that helped the homeless, the elderly, youth, and drug addicts. In 1987, she became the first public figure to support (or even show any amount of compassion) to people living with HIV and AIDS, at a time when public opinion seemed to be quite the opposite. Shortly before her death, she tried to turn public attention to issues like banning landmines – not because she was wanting to do something political, but because she saw the devastation they caused, especially to children, long after the conflict was over.

In my mind – there is no comparison to these two people.

Yesterday and today’s events have reminded me of something I had nearly forgotten. It’s the quantity, not the quality, of a person’s life that seems to matter.

I think that’s sad.

Pick up a newspaper or magazine that has come out today and I’m sure you’ll see everything you wanted to see about Michael Jackson. And, I bet if you flip through the rest of the pages, I’m sure you’ll eventually run into something about Farrah Fawcett as well. In today’s Chicago Sun-Times, the cover is devoted almost entirely to MJ, as is the first several pages. It isn’t until you get to page 26 that you see the first mention of Farrah with headlines like “’Charlie’s’ Girl And A Lot More” and “Angel Spread Wings; Whole World Smiled”.

Page 26?

Not even something on the front page to tell you to turn to page 26.

And, page 27…

So, at least she got two pages.

Could be worse. Page 34 has an inch-wide “obituary” on Jean Dausset, winner of a Nobel Prize in 1980 after his discovery lead to a method where doctors could test organs for transplants to determine the compatibility between donor and receiver. Something that saved how many people’s lives?

All he did was win a Nobel Prize. Nobody pays much attention to those. Right?

Without Googling or Binging or Yahooing etc… how many Nobel Prize Winners can you name?

See?

Anyway … I’ve gotten off track a little here.

As I said at the top of this post … the world lost two people yesterday.

Let’s just not forget that other one, ok?

It’s time to make a fresh start…

Recently, I took a long, hard look at everything I’ve posted to this blog. I’ve done this before, but this time I started asking myself some fairly deep questions. Questions like: What does my blog say about me? What kind of picture does it paint of me? If someone who had never met me read my blog, would they be impressed or repulsed? In answering those questions, I’ve learned a little bit about myself.

The first incarnation of this blog was all over the place. It featured all sorts of posts – everything from thought provoking commentary on social issues … some humorous posts … but, things weren’t working the way I had thought I had. For example … one week (in particular) I posted two items to my blog. The first one involved a topic I was very passionate about. The second one was me poking fun at everyone’s reaction to seeing Britney Spears’ crotch getting out of a limousine (I posted this picture of Britney holding her pet Beaver). That week, my blog went from 10-30 hits per day to 200-500 hits per day. Suddenly I found this blog on several “Up-And-Coming Blog Lists” and one day I was the “fastest growing blog on WordPress”. My thought provoking post got almost no hits. All my new viewers wanted to see Britney Spears’ Beaver. URGH!

Now, I’ve been writing (and blogging) long enough to know that when I write about something I am passionate about – not everyone out there is going to feel the same way. That didn’t bother me. But, it did get me thinking about trying something new.

Around this same time, I had a little personal problem I was trying to deal with. (Ok, it wasn’t so “little”.) Anyway… mostly because of that problem, I stopped posting my personal thoughts on pretty much everything. I was afraid that anything and everything I posted would just add fuel to that fire. I still “wrote” about things I was passionate about – but (1) nothing that effected me directly; and (2) for the most part, I was blogging about other people’s thoughts.

“Noli Nothis Permittere Te Terere” is not just the title of my blog … it’s also become my motto. It translates from the Latin to “Don’t let the Bastards get you down”. Words I haven’t been living by for awhile now.

And now … it’s time for me to reclaim this … and I am fairly confident doing this will help me get back into being the kind of person I really want to be.

Why now? What brought this on?

A few things really.

First off, I’ve been making some personal changes in my life … trying to eliminate the things in my life that aren’t good for me physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually … like, I’m trying to stop smoking. I’m trying to eat better and exercise more… I’m trying to separate myself from the toxic people in my life … just to name a few.

The other thing reason … well, you can blame those wacky “girls” on The View for this one. They were discussing the recent antics of a certain popular blogger who had gotten into a fight with the manager of a certain popular music band and used Twitter to ask someone to call the police for him. Personally – that whole thing made me sick. (What the blogger dude did, not My Girls.)

Someone … (I think it was Whoopi) … raised the issue that if the blogger had only written nice things about celebrities, he wouldn’t be as popular today as he is. I agreed with her at first, until I really started thinking about it. Sure … maybe people will be more likely to pick up a magazine if it features something about how some celebrity is being a total bitch, and less likely to pick it up if that same celebrity has done something rewarding. My question is … What does that say about us, about our society, if that’s the way it is now?

What does that say about me if I sit here and say nothing about it?

See … I think the stories about celebrities doing good things are more important than those other ones. And, the thing is … they stick with us a lot longer. Britney Spears isn’t going to go down in history as “that girl who slid out of a limo wearing a mini-skirt and no underwear” … Give that enough time and people will eventually forget it even happened in the first place.

On the other hand … when a celebrity does something good … no matter how small or large that may be … they find their way into our hearts and I think everyone comes away a little better for it. And then something funny happens … they stop being just Celebrities … and start becoming our heroes.

I think the world needs more heroes.

The more we talk about celebrities making fools of themselves or doing things that make them look bad, the more we encourage that kind of behavior … and the more we make it, dare I say, acceptable …? Have we got to the point where all a celebrity has to do to be on the news (or to be blogged about) is get drunk and puke all over the sidewalk?

My advise to celebrities … if you’re needing a bit of publicity … why not try doing something that is rewarding. Why not use your celebrity status to leave some positive energy out there in the world. Go visit sick kids in the hospital … or help some charity raise money … Why not do something … anything … to help yourself go down in history as being someone people can look up to, rather than just being that celebrity who pooped his or her pants at Taco Bell.

To me … that’s what “don’t let the bastards get you down” is all about … There’s a lot of stuff happening in the world that … let’s face it … if we continue to focus on it, it’s only going to get worse.

So … maybe it’s time to start looking for light at the end of the tunnel?